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These Doritos For Ladies Are Wrong on Every Level

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We managed to get through the Super Bowl last night without too many offensive ads for women, but then today we saw this news: Lady Doritos. Why oh why? Well apparently because women don't want their snack food to be noisy and we don't lick our fingers in public with great glee.

This news managed to capture the attention away from the 1,000-point-plus plunge of the Dow Jones Industrial Average because it is saying Doritos, arguably the best snack food ever created, need to be packaged differently for the female sex. Now I deeply respect PepsiCo. CEO Indra Nooyi, but as a lifelong Doritos lover this does not make sense to me. Nooyi said young men "lick their fingers with great glee" when eating these delicious chips, but women hesitate. Apparently, this woman has not been to my house on a Tuesday night. She also said, "When they reach the bottom of the bag they pour the little broken pieces into their mouth, because they don’t want to lose that taste of the flavor, and the broken chips in the bottom," she continued. "Women would love to do the same, but they don’t." Instead they go and cry in the bathroom because of this great loss? But again, Indra come to my house any night of the week. I invented something called Doritos salad where I pour the end of the bag in a bowl with salsa.

She also pointed out that women "don't like to crunch loudly in public" or lick their fingers generously. Now, yes, I don't care to hear anyone crunching their food, especially in an office, so great. We can all benefit from quieter chips (except they are way less fun.) And if women aren't licking their fingers in public venues, well, then they just have good manners. But the real topper was when she said the company would be designing a different package so they could fit more easily in a women's purse. What year is this? Everyone knows real women get out one of their hundreds of free tote bags and put the Doritos in there and carry their purse separately.

As you can imagine the internet had a field day with Lady Doritos.

Why do we need our snacks to be specially packaged? And who were these women they surveyed who are worried about making too much noise with crunching? And heck, if I could I would carry a Doritos bag as a purse. But what is next? Quiter Fritos? Pringles in a blank can so people think you are just carrying around a weird tube instead of eating pizza-flavored Pringles? I have the diet of a 12 year old sleepover and I am not afraid to show it.

This is a real step back Doritos. I won't stop eating you but the next time I do I will not smile while I crunch loudly and lick the dust off my fingers.

wh0rgy for Flickr

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