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31 Hilarious Anna Kendrick Tweets to Celebrate Her 31st Birthday

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This sweet lady needs no introduction: Anna Kendrick is the hilarious, intelligent, and beautiful best friend of our dreams. She captivated us as the quirky best friend in Twilight, got the cups song permanently stuck in our heads as Beca in Pitch Perfect, and sang sweet songs as Cinderella in Into the Woods. Plus, she wrote a book! Her essay collection, Scrappy Little Nobody, will be published on Nov. 15 by Touchstone, an imprint of Simon & Schuster.

And with today being her 31st birthday we though we would look at some of her best quotes. Get ready to laugh!

On Herself:

1. “If I die unexpectedly can everyone just do the right thing and pretend I was a way better person than I am?” (Twitter, 2014)

2. “I like to think of myself less like ’an adult’ and more like a ’former fetus.'” (Twitter, 2014)

3. “My Patronus is a corgi.” (Twitter, 2014)

4. “Oh God. I just realized I’m stuck with me my whole life.” (Twitter, 2015)

5. “Sometimes the only reason I leave my house is so when someone asks about my day I don’t have to say ‘Netflix and avoiding responsibilities.'” (Twitter, 2014)

6. “For someone with such an intense need to be liked you’d think I would have figured out how to be less of an a—hole.” (Twitter, 2013)

7. “Does anyone else think “don’t be a weirdo, don’t be a weirdo” over and over when entering social gatherings? Cause I don’t.” (Twitter, 2015)

On Career:

8. “You guys, I legit just got a residual check from the B’way show I did when I was twelve. $1.91. Show business does pay off kids.” (Twitter, 2015)

9. “My daily objective is less about goal achievement and more about regret management. #AimLow” (Twitter, 2015)

10. “I heard @onedirection has a job opening… and from certain angles I look like a british teenage boy soooooooooooo.” (Twitter, 2015)

11. “Sometimes the best part of my day is imagining what I’m gonna eat when I get off work.” (Twitter, 2014)

12. “Sometimes I legitimately get bummed that I’m not in any of the Step Up movies.” (Twitter, 2014)

On Other Humans:

13. “People who care about celebrity babies are creepy. ‘What will her baby look like?!’ A baby. You’ve seen a baby right? It’ll look like that.” (Twitter, 2013)

14. “It still blows my mind that I’m at an age where if I got pregnant people would be happy for me. #yikes #babies.”—(Twitter, 2014)

15. “A man fixing your computer is the new chopping firewood; makes a lady feel safe and warm. #swoon”—(Twitter, 2013)

16. “You’re probably right.* [means] *You’re wrong, I just don’t want to seem like a dick about it.” (Twitter, 2014)

On Delicious Things:

17. “If the frosting has cream cheese it counts as breakfast, right?” (Twitter, 2014)

18. “I’m done being embarrassed about my boring taste in sushi. If it looks like it killed Nemo’s mom, I’m not eating it.” (Twitter, 2013)

19. “F–k you, recipes that list something chopped, covered in olive oil and baked for 20 minutes as an ‘ingredient.’ I am not Wonder Woman.” (Twitter, 2013)

20. “‘I don’t want a whole dessert, let’s just get two spoons’—Former friends of mine.”(Twitter, 2015)

On Bullsh*t:

21. “Can we drop the pretense of ‘President’s Day’ and just call it ‘I needed a long weekend because Valentine’s Day is garbage.'” (Twitter, 2014)

22. “So, there’s NO existing service that rents puppies to people with hangovers? America, you have failed me.” (Twitter, 2014)

23. “Sarcasm never comes across in print. Which I love.” (Twitter, 2014)

On Life:

24. “It’s cute how I used to think this “barely-holding-it-together” feeling was temporary.” (Twitter, 2015)

25. “Working on my fantasy of what I SHOULD have said to that FedEx girl who gave me attitude.”—(Twitter, 2015)

26. “Sometimes I think “I need to think before I speak” and then other times I think “I shouldn’t leave the house or interact with people ever.”—(Twitter, 2014)

27. “Is there a filter on Instagram that fixes Bitchy Resting Face? Asking for a friend.”—(Twitter, 2014)

28. “I don’t get why girls paint the “Chanel” symbol on their nails… I could tattoo it on my ass but it don’t mean I’m fancy.”—(Twitter, 2014)

29. “‘Yes, but maybe if I HAD these tiny whimsical bowls I WOULD throw dinner parties…’ – every girl in Anthropologie ever” (Twitter, 2014)

30. “Yes of course I got your text—I’m just ignoring it. Don’t make it weird.”—(Twitter, 2015)

31. “”I can do that. Hold my beer.” – My last words, probably.”—(Twitter, 2013)

So happy birthday to you, dear Anna. Don’t ever change. Ever.

Photo: Michael Tullberg / Getty Images

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