THE STORY: Mitt Romney chose his running mate and officially kicked off election season 2012.
THE WHAT: As we Skimm’d over the weekend, Wisconsin Rep. Paul Ryan was considered a bold move because of his history of supporting controversial budget cuts – dream bait for the Democrats. Obama campaigned on Sunday and called Ryan a decent family man with a vision he “fundamentally disagree[s] with.” Well, OK then.
Romney is in afterglow mode, saying “I am so happy to have my teammate now, the two of us!” Watch out, Tagg.
THE WHY (DO I NEED TO SKIMM?): Remember the charm and enthusiasm a younger Barack Obama infused into the Democratic Party a few short years ago? Ryan is credited with bringing a similar vigor to conservatives.
WHAT THE LEFT SAYS… Seems like a nice guy, let’s take him and his lovely family for a BBQ after we win again. A vote for Romney/Ryan means you hate old people and the middle class. Oh, and you definitely don’t respect women’s rights.
WHAT THE RIGHT SAYS… Ryan is the next generation of GOP leadership. Obama’s policies have failed miserably and we need to get the country back on track. Vote for Obama if you want to be broke and pass along debt to your children.
WHAT THE SKIMMS SAY… Ryan is a strong pick by Romney. He has invigorated the Republican ticket and given the campaign a concrete agenda. He has a comfortable rapport with Romney (made easier by their “60 Minutes” interview). The Ryan pick gives the Democrats an opportunity to pin everything they hate about House Republicans on Ryan. Romney has certainly hit the refresh button on his campaign and the election season is now going to be about concrete issues and debate.
REPEAT AFTER ME…
What to say when you hate your co-workers… I’m going to get rid of you by sending you into early retirement. Just like new Egyptian President Mohamed Morsi did to his most senior military officials. He also addressed his dislike of a constitutional amendment that restricted his power, and cancelled it. After an embarrassing and tragic security crisis on the Sinai that left 16 soldiers dead, Morsi is clearly trying to show who’s boss.
What to say on a date… I’d love to see you again, but this week is pretty crazy for me. It’s Shark Week, you know. And unless you are a shark expert, Australian, or know a white shark personally, you mean nothing to me.
What to say in a meeting… Now that the Olympics are over, I can give my iPad a break and clear out my Twitter feed. I’m proud that the U.S. won 46 gold medals and realize that Chinese citizens will probably never be told that they came in second. It was a toss-up, though, whether I was more excited about men’s basketball beating out Spain or the Spice Girls reuniting. And by reuniting, I mean they were on the same stage. At the same time.
What to say at lunch with your mom… First Robert Pattinson, now Anderson? It’s too much. #silverfoxsolidarity
What to say when the copy machine breaks… Although I nearly broke my leg kicking this stupid machine, things could be a lot worse. Two earthquakes struck Iran, killing nearly 300 people and injuring thousands. Many citizens slept outside, scared of aftershocks.
What to say to your dad… You always taught me to never give up, but Rory McIlroy showed me what that really meant. I remember the golfer looking worse than I do on the green at the 2011 Masters. But McIlroy, the comeback kid, crushed the PGA Championship, winning by 8 strokes, the largest margin in the tournament’s history. Oh and he’s 23. No, I don’t know if he’s single or would want to date me.
What to say in the office kitchen… Chad Johnson, football wide receiver and “Dancing with the Stars” alum, has really turned his life into a nightmare of a reality show. The Miami Dolphins ended his contract 24 hours after Johnson was arrested on domestic battery charges. Johnson’s wife accused him of head – butting her after a confrontation over a box of condoms. Finding a partner on or off the field just became nearly impossible for Ochocinco.
What to say to your girlfriends on Team Brangelina… Jennifer Aniston finally got the upper left – hand. With rumors of a Brad and homewrecker (OK, they have a million kids together, she’s now a homemaker) wedding days away, Jennifer accepted boyfriend Justin Theroux’s marriage proposal. Finally our favorite “Friend” can have a baby!