Imagine being in a relationship with someone who always felt like they got the shaft. Most negotiations are just the beginning or continuation of a long-term professional relationship, so it’s important to not come off as though you’re trying to cheat them.

Ivanka has been called a “natural born dealmaker” by her father, Donald — and with good reason. She specialized in acquisitions and development for The Trump Organization, scoring the storied Old Post Office Pavilion in Washington, D.C.—and leading the deal to land the Doral Resort & Spa while nine months pregnant with daughter Arabella.

Some of the secrets to Ivanka’s success include careful preparation, an even temperament, and a true love of the game.

Use these top tips from to get what you want—graciously:

1. Define your objectives before beginning.

Always have a clear plan and goal in mind before beginning to negotiate. This is the golden rule that most people fail to follow, resulting in them allowing the other person to control what they want rather than vice versa.

2. Give it your all and aim for success.

When both parties benefit from a negotiation, it’s usually because each side got what they wanted. If you want to win, sometimes it’s best to go for the throat. However, as a general guide, you should try to make the other person feel content with the result- even if that means you don’t come out on top. You can never predict when you’ll need each other in the future.

3. Be aware of what your adversary is hoping to achieve.

One of the most important things you can do is correctly identify the other person’s top agenda. Oftentimes, their goals are not in competition with yours. When you give your customers what they want, it feels like a victory to them with little consequence to you. Though negotiation often comes down to finance and the bottom line, frequently it’s more psychological and complicated than that. If you keep in mind that the other person’s economic gain might not be their top priority, you’ll likely achieve better results than anticipated.

4. The value of preparation cannot be overstated.

Being knowledgeable gives you an advantage in any situation. It’s difficult to argue with someone who can support her claims with verifiable data and a smart, well-spoken argument.

5. Be confident and take risks.

You will never get what you don’t ask for…

6. Avoid negotiating over email.

It’s beneficial for the weaker party to send an email because it allows more time to craft a response and dodge a difficult confrontation. On the other hand, I always prefer speaking face-to-face, particularly in my own office where I have an advantage.

7. You’ll learn more if you listen rather than speak.

If people feel uneasy, they start blabbering to fill the void. Some of the best negotiators let the other person talk instead. If someone is unresponsive or makes the other person feel uneasy, it’s more probable that the second individual will make a mistake and share information they would have otherwise been cautious about.

8. Be confident.

Be aware of your body language and adjust accordingly. Fidgeting, nail picking, poor posture – these are all cues that will make you appear unprofessional. Instead, sit up straight, make eye contact, and be conscious of how your body is communicating with others.

9. Know when to walk away.

No matter how big the opportunity is, you always have to be mentally prepared to walk away. Whether it’s a job offer or a contract renewal, sometimes you have to show that you’re not afraid of just walking away if they can’t meet your terms. If a discussion starts to get too emotional, it’s best to end it temporarily by saying something like, “It seems we’re not in agreement. Let’s take some time apart to think things over and revisit this conversation later.” More often than not, negotiations can continue smoothly after giving everyone involved a chance to calm down.

10. When the stakes are low, practice.

Get a discount at a boutique by going in and asking for one. Get deals with your phone company by calling them and threatening to switch providers if they don’t give you a deal on their service. When the stakes are low, it’s an ideal opportunity to enhance your skills. Additionally, it can be amusing. As I noted previously, you won’t receive what you don’t request.

Ivanka Trump originally published this article.

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